viens et vois are the word written on the outside of the church building. it is truly a miracle that i was put with this family that happened to live a mere 8 minutes walk from possibly the most amazing church i have ever been a part of.
it took everything i had not to start crying the whole time i was there. i know its only been a few days but finally seeing other christians was overwhelming. i wish that you could have been a part of the church. there were about 100 people- one white couple with an unknown origin and the rest senegalese.
the music reflected the vibrancy of life with christ. everyone sang at the top of their lungs, dancing for joy, and constantly shouted “merci Seigneur! merci Seigneur!” i have honestly never seen anything like it. these people understood grace, they know what has been done for them, and through their words and celebration- display it.
the drumming and clapping invoked movement of body that could not be held in. the songs were in french and words were displayed on the wall and i was able to sing along. after the first long session of singing everyone began to pray loudly- all at the same time. NO ONE was ashamed of yelling and praying fervently. the entire room was filled with the Spirit throughout the entire 2 and 1/2 hours.
after this they asked those there for the first time to stand up and say some things. i just told them that i came from the US and that i dont speak french very well.
after this, the pastor spoke passionately for about 40 minutes and the times when i was extremely focused i could understand well. i managed the main idea, mostly because i understood the scriptures readings and read along in my Bible. the passages were Matthew 27:50-51, 2 chron 3:14 and heb 10:19-22.
he talked about the curtain that existed between the people and God and how Jesus came and tore that veil that separated us from God. we do not just have a religion, but a relationship with God.
after the message there was more singing, communion, more singing and an offering. i loved every minute in that building. there was a deeper connection there than i have felt with anyone so far, even the people i can speak clearly to.
at the end, i began to walk home and simultaneously began to cry. i had no idea how i was going to make it through another week without someone that i could talk to and someone to feel at home with. i felt so incredibly alone.
so halfway home, i turned and went back. i bought a bible in french and began talking to a lady, she took me to the pastor since he spoke english and he told me that he was glad i was and that i should keep on coming. when i told him that i was going to sant louis, he said that an american missionary and a senegalese pastor had gone there to plant a new church and that he would call them for me and let them know i was coming- Praise God!
tuesday:
in other news, last night (monday night) was absolutely the hardest night so far. when i got home after class, it was 8:20 and so maman started going off on me about how i was late and so i could no longer hold in tears that have been wanting to come this whole trip. which ended up making things worse. then she started going on about how im the 4th person in her house and everyone else was happy so whats wrong with me. it was awful because if you know me you know that i am sensitive but she doesnt know that. and i cant even make myself stop once ive started so i cried through dinner then went to my room and cried some more. the thing about maman is that i dont think she is mean or rude. but its more like she isnt warm at all. she may just be a different kind of nice or kind that i am not familiar with. i dont know.
i feel like there is so much that i could say, so much that goes on, but i dont have the time to write it all. umm i guess the only other i can thyink of to say right now is that school is hard and learning two languages- french and wolof plus two other courses is difficult. i wish that i had more time and a better means of spending time with other senegalese people but that may have to wait until the second half.
by the way, i had this chocolate soup the other night. sound good right? no. it was basically like melted nutella with rice mixed in. after 5 bites my stomach felt awful. but oh! i survived going nuber 2 at my house. the worst part of the bathroom is that we share it with the roaches. both showers i have taken there have been at night with no electricity. using a small candle i have taken freezing showers with some not so little roaches watching me, just waiting for the candle to go out…
Tahnzella:
I will post the e-mail note I sent to you and others earlier.
Know that Dad loves you!
Let me start with the WotDfD (Word of the Day from Dad for those of you who do not know) –
“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” — John 14:27 (NKJV)
As I said in my previous post to your blog, please trust in these truths. God will not let you down in Africa. I believe that the only “problem” you have with maman is the current language barrier. You need not be afraid of her, she does care about your welfare and last night she was worried about you, not mad at you. Remember that different cultures deal with things in different ways. Even though you are on an emotional roller coaster, you were not crying due to unhappiness and you need to communicate this to maman. You need to tell her that you are not comfortable with your French and that fact stresses you out. If you look at your family you may notice that none of them are emotional, so your feelings and emotions may seem foreign (no pun intended) to them. In my many travels I have found that people will be very understanding once they know your point of view; maman is no different. Your situation is likely a matter of language and culture and nothing more. Remember this – God SPECIFICALLY put you into that home (a great church just 8 mins away!!), in the end you will be amazed at what He will accomplish through you.
Just respect maman, try your best to educate her on who Tahni the person is and God will handle the rest. Though it saddens me as a dad that you are so discouraged right now, I am very excited for what the future holds for you in Senegal these coming 3 months. You will persevere and this trip will forever be remembered fondly by you.
Know that Brooke and I are praying for you that your relationship with maman will improve, that you will stop being worried about your French and that you will know with complete certainty that God is with you, that He loves you and that He will do a great work through you in Senegal. Your previous dedication and work ethic will serve you well in plowing throw all the work you have to complete. Please enjoy your trip to St Louis. Revel in the experience that you are living. Learn to love the country, the Senegalese, and the culture! I am certain that all will turn out well. When in doubt, please refer to today’s WotDfD!
Je vous aime beaucoup, Papa
bonjour tahni!
je comprends. going to France and learning to speak was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m glad you’re sending emails/blogging when you can so I can pray for you specifically.
Remember that no matter how bad your French (or Wolof!), how hard your classes, or how many culture moments/days/weeks you have, c’est dans Jésus Christ seul où ton valeur est trouve. He’s brought you to Senegal to teach you hard and beautiful lessons you can only learn there.
My TAMU prof who went to France with the group told us to say “merci” et “s’il vous plait” a lot when talking with our host families. That way, even if we didn’t understand each other, they would know we were grateful and wanted to understand. I don’t know if that helps any. It did me.
Je t’aime mon amie et je comprends~
Kitty
Tahni – I love you so much and will continue my prayers for you. I pray that you will cling to God and know that He is with you. Remind yourself that NOTHING on this trip is a surprise to Him. It’s worth repeating – NOTHING on this trip is a surprise to the Lord.
I pray for all the things you have listed and most for your relationship with the maman.
I absolutely loved your description of the church you went to. I remember when we went to Mexico and heard people praying to Jesus Cristo. I was reminded that God is the same no matter what the language.
I wish I could send you a hug through the internet, but instead know that I am hugging you in my heart and thinking of you throughout my day.
I love you!!!! – Louanne
I forgot to tell you I love the photos you have posted so far.
Hi Tahni,
I got your blog address from Louanne and have been fascinated to read of your experiences. I know you must be feeling pretty overwhelmed, alone in a strange country, where the language is a real barrier to effective communication. Just remember that God is with you, and will ALWAYS be guiding you. One of my favourite scriptures is Deut. 31:8 ‘The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave or forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged’. Hang in there Tahni – this is an amazing experience that you are in the midst of and once you have had a chance to settle in a bit more, I am sure that things will seem easier for you. God bless you,
Cristina in Tasmania
Hi I am a friend of your sister’s and wanted to say that what you are undertaking is brave and I am proud of you.I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Enjoy your time and please remember this is an opportunity many dream of but rarely are brave enough to do . Have as much fun as your heart can stand . I glad you chose to dance.
Kim(aka Lieblingk)
Hi there,
I am Louanne’s blogger friend from RQ and wanted to say Hi. I wish I could write something that would help you feel a little better. Your posting reminds me of how I felt at 20 when I went to south east asia to marry my husband. We met at university and fell in love. I was not alone when I arrived, but it was the very first time I travelled overseas to an environment that was very, very, very different from where I was from. The cultural shock was HUGE for me!! Everyone stared at me, tried to touch me and things like what you talk about happenned to me. Different languages, toilets in the ground (yup those were not great) and cold showers. As for the cockroaches, wow they were horrible (I thought they were rats). My trip lasted for about 10 weeks. These were the hardest weeks of my life, but something I have never regretted because I learned some very important lessons. I learned what it is like to be a part of a visible minority (I am caucasian); something that I never would have learned in North America and as a mother to adopted children of a visible minority (China) this is something I am forever grateful to God for and I believe was one of the reasons I was sent there. Hang in there.
Sincerely,
Catherinethegreat (well I have another name, but I am mother to a catherinethegreat!!!)from RQ.
Friend from Louanne’s RQ group. First let me say I think it is amazing what you are doing, it’s often scarey to do something you know you are called to do, but the rewards will be great!!!! Your description of the service gave me chills, now that is “Praise”, one that cannot be contained in the body, what a blessing to be apart of such a wonderful experience. I will pray that your journey brings you many blessings, funny how when we are doing his will, all the blessing we receive. Thank you for being such a warrior for God. In Christian Love, Amy
Another friend of your sister’s popping over to say hello. You are so brave to be doing this! Keep your chin up, don’t let maman get to you! Find something you can think of (Nadia’s cute little face maybe?) and whenever she goes off on you, picture that … like Tinkerbelle said, ‘find your happy place’. Just picture that, whatever it is, tune her out and nod now and then. It works, I had to do it once … for five years!
/hugs dear, you really are brave. I know it’s a hard step you took, but take it you did, kudos! Take the good from this trip, blow off the folks that seem intent on hurting you. Know you are so loved (Louanne is cheering you on to all of us!).
Kiy
P.S. You take amazing photos! 🙂
Hang in there! I got your blog address from your sister. I admire you for going so far away from all that’s familiar.
I have friends who went to Africa a few years ago and they laugh now about a lot of the things that drove them crazy then. The worst thing for them was bootcamp before they went.
I’m sure you’ll adjust soon. Keep praying sweetie!
Linda
I love you tahni.
Tahni, things will get better, and you will grow more accustomed to the customs of the people and the family you’re living with. Stay focused on your purpose for going to Senegal, and the end goal, and perhaps that will keep your spirits from flagging. New and different experiences can be very disorienting for a sensitive person (like you and me). Hang in there!
KathyP (a friend of Louanne’s)
Reach out your hand
Take mine in yours
Transfer the doubt
Replace all the fear
With Your able strength.
Reach out your hand
Take mine in yours
Transfer all loneliness
Replace my sad tears
With Your courage.
Reach out your hand
Take mine in yours
Be my vitality
Surround me with light
Make me so strong
That I can persevere through this trial.
Tahni I haven’t known you long, but I’ve just had a chance to read your blog today. My soul is touched by you. God is reaching out to me through you, your pictures, your words, and your feelings. I felt moved to write the above for you. You are an artist, painting a canvas that is ever changing; as He uses you to affect the lives of others. If there were some magic words of comfort I could impart I would, but I have no magic. I only ask Him now that He would give you the wisdom and clarity to know His will for your life, that He would give you the strength and courage to fullfill the works He has for you and that He would give you peace in your heart and joy in your soul. Many Blessings! Keep on Blogging. Laura
Hello: I am one of Louanne’s blogging buddies. She told me about your blog so I thought I would check it out.
I just want to encourage you in the Lord to keeping pressing on! I have been on a few missions trips and have also spent time abroad and know how hard & lonely it can be.
Rom 8:28 & Jer 29:11 are verses that I cling to often, I hope it will bring you some comfort! Take care and hang in there!!
Tanya
Oh, Tahni! I adore you! 🙂 You make me smile, even at roaches, which is a hard thing to do! 🙂 Love you much and I am praying for you.
Tahni,
I love love love you and I miss you so much. I picked up my phone a fews days ago because I was watching Gilmore Girls and thinking of you. After pulling up your name I realized you wouldn’t pick up and it made me incredibly sad. But then I felt alot of happiness and excitement for you because I knew you were experiencing an oppurtunity so few people will ever have!
I can only imagine your loneliness and worries. I wish I could offer you some sound advice or knowledge. I pray you are able to find beauty, fellowship, relaxation and inspiration during your trip. God has placed you in that particular home for a reason and I have full confidence that you are the right person the job!!! You have so much to give and you encourage me with every word I read on your blog. I am blessed that you allow me to be your friend. Great, I’m all teary eyed and mushy now!!!
I love you girl. I have two interviews on Monday (fourth and fifth grade openings). I will let you know how they go! Kisses!!!!!!
Mamma