i don’t know how to hope when it feels like my life is going nowhere. i’m not saying i’m right. i just don’t know how.

i’ve tried not to worry about the economy, but it is hard not to when i feel like my dreams are dying with it. i probably can’t be a vagabond artist with the economy falling to pieces. when money is short, who will buy art? and crazy art at that?

on a more serious note, i think most people want to feel like their life matters. i know that technically my life is going somewhere. every day, i am further sanctified and get closer and closer to being perfect and whole, and will one day join in the beauty of unblemished eternity. but i want here and now to matter too. because right now is part of eternity. right now is part of sanctification. and right now matters to us, to others, and to the Lord.

i just feel like right now is aimless wandering for me. waiting for answers that will never come. and its really hard for me to see past what i feel.