swimming in the deep.


so…matt chandler. i know that i have mentioned him a lot recently, and maybe not so much here, in this space, but if you have ever been a part of the texas a&m/texas/baylor christian community, then you know he is highly influential. being that he is a solid pastor/person/husband/father, that is not a bad thing.

moving on, he wrote a post on his blog sometime last month about his inspirations. you know, the things that inspire him in life and in his relationship with Jesus. things that lead him to closer to God. he asks:

“What inspires you? Better yet, what stirs your affections for Christ, truth and holiness? If we can fill our lives with the things that stir our affections and avoid and flee those things that rob us of inspiration, we have a better shot at dwelling deeply. What and who inspires you? Stirs you? What presses you into holy places? What robs you of joy and vitality? What robs you of your affection for Christ and holiness?”

i think the guy’s got a point. plus, a really good friend of mine encouraged me to think about this. so im thinking about it. i have an initial list, but that doesn’t mean that it is by any means complete. and i am hoping that God will continue to highlight and pinpoint the things in my life.
these things i have come up with definitely inspire my life with Christ, but they also just inspire me in life in general, they give me a glimpse of the hope and peace i am seeking after.


i think i want to keep this list updated, here on my blog. for what its worth…

moving:

sunsets
dancing as worship or emotional expression
smell of lavender
late night candle-lit painting
vast expanses (ocean, desert, field, mountains)
being creative in blogging
cool autumn air
having deep conversations about Him and life
being with my friends in Austin (not to disregard the friends i have here, its just always a refreshing experience the few times i get to see the others)
photography
the Psalms (like no other)
sitting by a window at starbucks

joy-suppressing and distancing:

spending tons of time on school and stressing about it
drinking too much coffee
being really involved/busy
violence and war
letting anger have free reign as an emotion
wanting attention
too much facebook time
expecting things to go my way

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i’ve also been thinking about my personality and my emotions a lot recently. i cant deny that at times, i feel severely disadvantaged having the capability for emotions so strong that they can be crippling. that i have a melancholic mind, always running, always thinking, always processing, always analyzing. often, i feel tired and annoyed by it, just wishing that it would stop, that i could have some peace every once and awhile from the thoughts and the emotions, the intense feeling for myself and for others.

but for the past few months, i have been gradually learning to accept it. i have been reminded by others and by God, that i was given these capacities for emotions and deep thinking for a reason. and in a weird sort of way, i am thankful. i am thankful that i am able to go deep into life, into thoughts, and into relationships. and i’ve been learning that my emotions are for a reason as well. a good reason. a good purpose.


unfortunately, there are times when what was created for good, reacts in ways that are not so good. but i can deal with it. i just want them to be used for the best. and i want to continue to aspire to drinking deeply from life, life in Christ.