today, i felt Life again. the most fulfilling moments come unexpected. it calls for moving myself into things that provoke initial resistance.

resistance is familiar to me.

resistance to let go. resistance to giving up my selfishness. resistance to releasing my belief that i am right. resistance to myself, my own creativity. resistance to wisdom and truth.

i decided two weeks ago to deal with the easiest part- resistance to being creative and taking time to reflect, seek God, to create, to relax. i made a schedule for my spring break week, allotting time to specific activities for each of the days. it has proven to be a blessing.

as beautiful as today was, it would have been easy to stay indoors and be lazy in my pajamas. but my spring break schedule called for a time of walking and talking to God in a place that i had never been before. it was then that i felt Life. exploring and discovering was wonderful enough, but finding a park that i had never seen nor heard of and having the whole place to myself to walk and pray in the sun was nothing short of glorious. and so resisting resistance 🙂 became beautiful.

on the same note, yesterday i talked to one of my favorite new-ish friends. after telling her about what is going on in my life, she told me a lot of things i didn’t want to hear. her words were painfully alive as i took them in. i think my heart literally clenched in my chest. but i knew she was right, and i knew God was speaking to me through her. telling me to let go, to come to Him daily, to give up my selfishness. to embrace freedom and His Life. but the truth was still agonizing.

after realizing that i had to accept her words of His truth, i came across this verse in proverbs: