i don’t think i’m faithful enough to actually do things that have meaning with my life. i don’t think i’m available for God to use me, because i’m just not faithful.
in the back of my mind, this is what i believe. but some hopeful part of me thinks that maybe i actually will live of life of service to Him. a life of love.
but the farther from graduation i get, the stronger the belief of my lack of capability and availability gets.
i wonder if i am just wasting my time away.
Here is what I think… too often people can let their life, their being, their walk with God, their service to God, their marriage, their friendships or whatever be defined by 'milestones'.
So often working towards these events or time periods can suck the joy out of living NOW. TODAY. HERE. IN THE MOMENT. I know that I have done it and I have seen others do it, but now I have peace and I go about my life. I am servant to God and a wife and mother.
I know a woman who is 78 years old living on a fixed income who is working all the time trying to raise money to build a water well. That is what she is doing as she leads her day to day life. She has raised her children and served God along the way and has now found this new and different way to serve. She wants to provide clean water for people she doesn't even know because God has called her to it. So cool.
God uses me day in and day out to do His will. I see Him all around me and in the work I do for KIDS HOPE and World Vision. I see Him using me when I provide a shoulder to cry on for a friend who just lost her baby. I see Him using me when I am able to tell Nadia not to be afraid because God is with us. I see Him using me in the DAY to DAY living in the spot He has put me in. This is where God has put me and where He wants me to serve.
Perhaps it's time to view the word "service" with a different definition.
And God is going to use you this weekend as you advocate for the children the world has forgotten! Cling to that….it's something right HERE, right NOW that God has provided for you to do for Him.
I love you! (sorry for the novel)
Tahnawannahavemeaning:
What wonderful and powerful words from your sister; thank you Louanne.
Tahni, for reference I want you to know that each day that goes by you become more capable and more available; not the opposite. It is so easy for the TEMPORARY circumstances in life to cast a cloud over our view of the beauty of God all around us. And even worse, we use that "blindness" as an excuse for inaction or for second guessing the direction we are supposed to be headed. This leads one to question their very purpose.
God has a purpose for you that He knew from before the beginning of time. Think about that, He knew what He had in store for you both uniquely and specifically before the very creation of trillions of people and things! It is profound.
For the record, the little things that you do every day have REAL meaning. Caring for your friends, praying for them, loving Joseph, eating queso, being fuzzy.
Every single moment can be magic. Every breath a miracle of life that God considers not wasted. Down time and wasted time are two different things. Your life is a blessing to so many even when you THINK you lack enough faith. There is an amazing supernatural force at work in your life and it is bolstered each and every day by those who love you and, even more, by those who truly appreciate you.
I appreciate you!
Love,
Dad