money and its goods, its bads, and its uglies, has been occupying a lot of space in my mind of late. perhaps i should say ever since i graduated. but in the past month or two, its position in the hierarchy of my thought life has risen greatly.
its a battle to know how to spend the little that i have right now. and its a battle not to put all my hope in money. i’ve had some small and freeing revelations, but mostly i just worry about whether or not i’m going to have enough.
but i truly mean it when i say that i am striving to be at peace no matter what my situation.
i realized that those who feel like they have everything (they think) they could ever want or need are in greater danger of not relying on God or understanding their need for Him at all. i know that my need for God extends farther beyond my financial situation than i could ever say, but i do need Him, daily.
and so, i am grateful to be where i am. because still (and much more slowly than i would like), it is aligning my heart into proper position of reliance and hope in the only One who is solid.
the timing of this constant heart-tension couldn’t, in all realms, be better. as joseph and i move towards, you know, marriage and family and all that old-people stuff, we are praying for life vision. meaning lots of things but also lifestyle choices. we come from two lifestyles that couldnt be more different and converging those into one and adding in our desires to be faithful, well, let’s just say it isn’t easy.
and i tend to have a harder time with it because i come from affluence and have this messed up thought that affluent people must be the bad guys here. joseph pointed out that those with less money can have much more self-serving and greedy attitudes than those who have more money.
affluence does not equal stinginess and poverty does not equal humility.
though we may never make much money, we certainly will have money at our disposal and the ability to choose the lifestyle we will have.
off and on, i’ve been reading money, possessions and eternity by randy alcorn in an attempt to gain insight on being faithful with money. last night i was really moved by many things in the few pages that i read.
this is more of a confession than it is a post telling people how to view money and how to spend or not spend it. i recognize within myself a desire for more money and more things that i believe i want. what i truly want, deeper than all of that junk, is to have a generous heart and a peaceful spirit.
i want to let go of the deceitfulness of wealth. (mark 4:19).
i want to be generous on every occassion (2 corinthians 9:10-11) and be rich in good deeds (1 tim. 6:17-19) so that i may take hold of the life that is truly life.
I understand much of this struggle! Thanks for sharing. I think what I have learned in our marriage is faith. Really deep rooted faith that Lord loves me and will take care of me even when it doesn't match up to the world's standards. Now I see Him leading me to cultivate gratitude for what He has given our family. I am eager to see in myself genuine gratitude for His provision.
Tahnzella:
There is a reason that there is more mention of money in the bible than any other topic. And the bible tells us that the LOVE of money is the root of all evil (1 Timothy 6:10). The proof of this truth can be seen in the wrecked lives of so many with lifetimes worth of wealth. Matthew 6:24 tells us that, "You cannot serve both God and money."
Money should only be a means to an end. To pay ones APPROPRIATE bills and to help those in need. God does supports personal unselfish "recreational" use of money for things like vacations and gifts; as long as ones God commitments are still met.
BTW, giving money has nothing to do with generosity. People either are or they are not generous. A rich person may give great sums out of guilt and that does not make them generous. Conversely, I have seen people with very little give out of the very core of their hearts; oft times at their own disadvantage. But I believe in the Godly principle of reaping what you sow.
The most important thing you need to know about having/handling money is that you maintain a "healthy" relationship with all the money that God allows you to steward. It is an inanimate object that cannot love, cannot provide happiness, cannot heal illness, cannot extend life, cannot protect nor defend and it cannot make one a better person.
Your Aunt Paula has always said that the only thing that having more money does is "make you miserable in a nicer neighborhood!" The balance of you and Joseph's different backgrounds will help you to have the right attitude about money as long as you will allow such an outcome.
The one and only thing that I hope that you girls will have taken from the affluent life you enjoyed growing up is not a nice house, or nice cars, or fine clothes, or great foods, or fantastic trips, but rather, that you saw what money did for the handicapped kids at T.H. Rogers school, or the homeless at the Star of Hope Mission, or the missionaries it sent from our home church. If it is anything but the aforementioned, then I have failed you.
I Love You,
Dad
Hi, love! This has been a hard thing for us, too, particularly as we're looking at the first 6 years of our marriage spent with only one person working. Regardless, we'll never be making gobs of money (social work, much?). It helped us to consider that whatever we have is not ours, but God's, and we're just stewards. It's definitely helped our "why" questions since we're not so inclined to ask God why He doesn't have more money 🙂
Anyway, just wanted to share that this is hard for us, too. Mostly because we worry a lot and it can be really anxiety-provoking to feel so disempowered/trapped by lack of funds. You make an awesome point, though. It totally places us to rely on Him for everything, if only we're willing to choose that over relying on the fear of what it means to not have much.
Thanks for sharing with us 🙂 Love you!
I love how you are so honest and revealing in your blog posts. I've learned in my walk with Him nothing satisfies than just being with Him. He brought me to the realization a couple years ago as I was going about my way and stressing over a money situation. He said to me, you know there's nothing you've ever gone through that I haven't brought you out of. You've always made it through. When I ever I am faced with a financial situation now, I say He brought me through the last one, he'll bring me through this one!
Tahniwannapenny,
So get it…your dad is right about the money theme throughout the Bible. Money causes stress BOTH ways… when you don't have it, and when you do! I haven't seen proof of money relieving stress, except when it pays for therapy or a spa day. I was NOT raised in affluence. I have had only a few hundred bucks to my name. I've been down to my last unemployment check. Yeah, I still worry about it (habit from the past) but I also know what a reasonable expectation is. You just need to "keep it real" and along with faith, you will always be a-o-k. ALWAYS.
I thought I commented here, but clearly I didn't. And I don't remember what I was going to say, but I did think to come back here today based on my prayers last night.
I was thinking about women in other countries and parts of the world who don't have access to all the "stuff" that we do in America. those women love their children as much as I love Nadia, but they just don't have access to what we do. Even the poorest in America have so much more than the rest of the world. The poor in the rest of the world just don't have access, so there is no hope.
And you know that when Mike and I got married we were broke and we have such good stories to tell and I use it as a constant reminder to myself of where we were. There are plenty of studies that show that having lots of money doesn't make people happier.
Glad you have been reading Money, Possessions and Eternity. Love you.