Tahni. You complain So much. I don't understand why you can't find happiness. Your posts are about how you are just miserably floating through life. Hello! Tahni you just got married and have the luxury of working at a coffee shop until you find your calling. Do you know how many people have to suffer through horrible first time jobs right out of college just so they can make ends meet? If life were really that miserable and unfair you how did you luck out and marry your husband. I love your pictures and some of your blogs but really Tahni its time to suck it up and stop being so freaking miserable!! No one likes to hear someone constantly complain about how unhappy they are. Really. There is always SOMETHING to be glad about.ReplyCancel

life has cycles for sure and having an outlet to gripe your head off is therapeutic; believe you me! loved this post as I definitely relate to it on many levels.ReplyCancel

Tahnawannahaveanepiphany:

I see you starting to come out of a funk that has haunted you for so many years. I take some responsibility for that as my life did not turn out the way you had imagined it in all of your dreams. Your disappointment in me has weighed so heavily on my heart in spite of my great joy for how your life and my life have turned out.

The truth is that most of your posts have been quite melancholy and I wonder how that can be so given the truly blessed life that you have lived. I realize that happiness cannot be rated on the curve and that there are many data points that lead to overall happiness. You need to try and look beyond your own frustrations and remember the kids in Senegal that have been sold into the sex trade or the countless thousands of orphans that will never know a life like Nadia lives today nor a 20 something young woman stricken with Stage 4 cancer (whom you contributed to indirectly) that is incredibly joyful because she can now say, "At least I was married."

I look at the real calamity that so many face who are so much more deserving than I for God's incredible grace, forgiveness and love. I have come to realize that these are just blessings that God Almighty Himself has dished upon my life and who am I to question His providence? As a human I do wonder, even in the midst of such great blessing.

Each day that you wake you should be thankful for the new day. You should be thankful that you are not the homeless person who asked me for help at BW3 today. You have the love and respect of a good and decent man and you have your health, in spite of your arthritis.

My prayer each and every day is that you will come to realize the blessings you have that have been obscured by you lack of happiness, more often than not in your life.

More than anything I desire to make sure you are happy and to have you know that I love you to the point that I would die for you.

The above said, I found this post to be incredibly encouraging because I think that you are finally coming to the conclusion that you are indeed special and that you have earned the very favor of God.

I Love You,

DadReplyCancel

hey.
love this line:"despite all my stubbornness and immaturity, God brought healing anyway."

mmm perfect.
love you.

jaxReplyCancel

All I would like to say, is Tahni, I understand. My brain works similarly to yours. Sometimes, despite all the blessings we have & all the good days we've been given, it is just hard to see the bigger picture. Some people see in details; others see the whole image. We see details. Along with the curses of that, there are BEAUTIFUL things about seeing details. We are the people that a friend wants to bring when they're buying a new house to see the details that may cause them a lot of trouble 5 years down the line of owning that home. We are people that have trouble being satisfied, which pushes us to grow more. Yes, there are downfalls to that. There are downfalls to every "personality type." None is better than another.

One thing I've been learning more than anything is that we must accept our weaknesses and then ask our Lord for direction & guidance in cultivating our personality. You won't change completely, and I won't either. BUT the Father MADE US THIS WAY and wants us to come to Him so He can refine this personality trait in us so we can glorify him: NOT TAKE IT AWAY.

I just want to encourage you Tahni, that you are not an awful person. God made you a certain way & where there are bad in a trait, there is GOOD. I really disagree with the ANONYMOUS comment about just sucking it up & shutting away your feelings. I've learned it is about confronting our feelings, putting them in God's hands while asking Him to help us dissect & re-train those thoughts if they aren't beneficial for us.

I'm sorry that's so long, I just felt very strongly that I needed to say those things.

You are so loved, Tahni.

-Love, ErinReplyCancel

Erin,

You think its ok to just be miserable? What is the point in wallowing about everything you think is wrong with your life. Get over yourselves. Honestly. Someone has it worse than you do. The fact that you just want to sit on a log and constantly complain about everything that you think is wrong with your life is amazing. Take control of your lives and stop complaining! If you want your life to be a certain way DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Just stop all the complaining!ReplyCancel

🙂
when christine told me you were coming i did a little dance.
i'm really excited that both of you are coming!ReplyCancel

It's funny, I always respond to the baristas (or whomever) and never thought that was unusual until people started complaining about it not happening. I do feel badly sometimes, though, because I'm a little distracted trying to figure out what I want, and I don't want to be rude, but I don't want to start a whole conversation either, because I can't talk and think at the same time.

But I ALWAYS say thank you at the end, and I can't believe some people don't.ReplyCancel