confidence and loss.

i arrived to saint louis about three hours ago after a most uncomfortable car ride. not only was it uncomfortable, but, of course- there was a flat tire.

alhamdulilaay, i have been in senegal for six weeks already and feel comfortable here because i was just dropped off at my host home, with no word from anybody about anything. i pity the person who just gets to senegal and is thrown into it.

mom, i saw this on my walk in my new neighborhood today and naturally thought of you.

i am feeling a lot right now.

i am living with another volunteer from england who has been here for i think three days. she asked me what dakar was like and i couldnt help but feel a heaviness. that is the first time ive been asked and it was a strange feeling to really miss it.

the saint louis in which i sit is not the same saint louis i previously visited. we were most definitely in the tourist quarters. i mean come on, when i was eating lunch today some goats snuck onto my host family premises, running around like crazy. when i went to the bathroom, i was almost knocked off my feet by the bleeting of the sheep that apparently live with me.

my room is great,though i share it with another, but this house is definitely not as nice as the one in dakar. when people say dakar is by far the most developped, i understand completely. even saint louis is very very different, i was almost shocked. though the house may not be as nice, my host mom is wonderful. she is so incredibly warm and her french is so easy to understand. okay, let me humble myself. we talked about easy things and i had plenty of context. nevertheless, it went well. the girl that i live with doesnt speak much french and when the pressure is on me to translate, i do so much better.


i feel confidence. sadness. excitement. i feel so much. packing last night i wondered how i could feel so much yet nothing at all. it is obvious that i have spent minimum time in the cyber cafe the past week as i havent written in forever. i had so many unbelievable experiences. i hope i can write about them soon. i spent my time with people that i love and doing things, taking every opportunity. and now, i am uprooted. yet i feel confident, not lost. i know senegal, i know a little wolof, french isnt completely terrible, i am not afraid to talk to people or to look for things, i dont feel fear or discomfort. i just feel sorrow over what is no more.

cest ça. cest la vie.