“this could be the very minute i’m aware i’m a.l.i.v.e.

all these places feel like home.”

i’m so behind on posting! so much goes on all the time that i wish i could write, but its impossible. the cyber cafe is a good twenty minute walk away which doesn’t help.

i can’t believe that it is possible to have days that are better than days that occur prior, but again- yesterday was one of those days. it was one of those days where i literally felt that my soul was overflowing. overflowing in what, i can’t say exactly, life?

it began with a delicious after lunch ice cream concoction invented by me. one scoop of caramel, one scoop of coffee, top with caramel and chocolate sauce. heaven? yes.

i then proceeded to spend two hours searching the city for a soccer ball to buy for my host brother. thats sounds frustrating but it was quite fun. i spent it with one of my new friends, who i happen to enjoy. not only that but we got to spend some time talking about faith, hope, happiness, contentment, and life. i really enjoy meeting people from all over the US and the world and spending time really getting to know them. following our odyssey of sorts, i returned home to spend nearly forty-five minutes speaking in french (yes- french!) with Remy and Kambey!!! and it was conversation that actually moved beyond “i will return at this time, tonight i’m going to…, when are we going to eat?” and so on. granted, some of the conversation was about george bush, i would say it was one of the finest moments. i’m not by any means fluent, or even close, but understanding and speed of thinking and speaking french has increased wonderfully. our conversation finished with Remy and i dancing to soulja boy- could it get any better?

let me preface this next tidbit with everything is fine, no harm done, mostly just laughter. so as we were leaving the club everything got stressful and crazy as it always is when you are trying to get five taxis, all going to different places and its crowded and loud and late. as i was walking towards the taxi i was going to get in to, there were a bunch of people in my way and i couldnt move. at this point i felt a hand in my pocket and noticed a guy crammed up next to me with his hand on my cell phone. it is amazing how quickly my defense mechanisms kicked in. at this point i grabbed my phone with one hand, his wrist with the other and yanked it out of my pocket. a second later, before i knew what i was doing, i was kicking the guy. i wish you could have seen his bewildered face to which i then threw a napkin at that i was holding in my hand. i’m almost not sorry that it happened because it has made for a good story time and again.

the group argued for an hour yesterday about the violence in senegal and the fact that because we are tubaabs people don’t protect us and most people are out to get us. i completely disagree. though i (and a few others) have had experiences we could have done without, for every ass person who wants to steal from or bother us white people, there are 500 more who are kind and would not only not do those things, but would help you out. its important to realize that though in some places (like crowded markets or on a dark street) there is greater risk and you should go with someone else, senegal is a perfectly safe place. some disagree and make blanket statements, but i feel that is unfair. i couldn’t tell you how many random people i have met that have invited me to eat with them, drink attaya (very sweet tea in tiny glasses), or do any number of other things.

my visit to see Fatou was a good experience for me, but at the same time, i did not expect it to go the way it did. i traveled to a very small village called Tiacleme (pronounced cha-klem) where they welcomed me with sabar dancing and drumming. and like every other sabar experience, the tubaab always has to dance. i danced. they laughed. all were happy. when i met Fatou (who is six) she was so shy that she never even looked at me or smiled. my feelings were crushed when she basically was forced to sit by me the whole time and when i tried to greet her or talk to her, she just ignored me. her family was happy to meet me but again, no one talked to me. in fact, it was as if most people in the village were scared of me. i know that is not the truth, but it was difficult not to feel that when no one would talk to me or approach me. though i felt welcomed as a whole, by Fatou and the family, i felt kind of brushed off. the people in the village have only ever seen maybe ten foreigners, so i understand its weird. i just felt very emotional the entire time, i was holding back tears. when i gave Fatou her toy i bought her, she just kind of held it, didnt even look at it. no one said thank you, no one said anything. and the world vision people, assuming that my french was not good, hardly translated anything for me. it was frustrating, but i feel like it was an important experience for me. never have i felt so uncomfortable in my skin, so self conscious about every action, every look, every face. whats more, i got the chance to see World Vision at work. to see that they are changing lives and that God has allowed me to be part of that. I know the faces, the hands, the lives that I can pray for.

we spent this past saturday and sunday in Toubab Dialow. we stayed in a beautiful artist’s haven. I, who desire asthetic beauty in my daily surroundings, couldn’t have liked the weekend more. it was very relaxed.

batik (see above photo), dancing, sleeping, eating the most delicious food i have had thus far. praise God for that weekend! I took hundreds of pictures, spoke french, and enjoyed time spent with friends I have come to care a lot about. i wish you could go there, but a few of my photos will have to suffice. it was the type of place that I dream of living at. a place where I can see myself and the art inside of me come alive just because of the people there and the beauty of the ocean and the place itself.