today is a good day for a few reasons.

reason number one: it has been two months, today, of my wonderful marriage.

number two: greece won their first world cup game in history! i was so stoked watching that game. i think i should have been born a) european and b)french or greek OR a splendid mix of the two. instead, i’m a blend of mexican (the one i cling to for scholarships), norwegian (the one that baffles me), german (the one that makes me feel like i belong in my husband’s uber-german family), french canadian (the one i love the most because it explains my francophilia), and something or other (irish?).

number three: i’ve figured out a mini roadtrip i’m taking next week/weekend. somehow, i got scheduled 5 days in a row off, so i’m using a few of those days to see people i deeply miss. i know this means discovering new beauty both with my camera, and with my soul. and my soul is in desperate need.

blog posts like this one here, by my sweet friend erin (who i get to see on my roadtrip) (!!!), remind me of how deep in the mud i am. i’ve mostly kept quiet about it here because it confuses me, it hurts, and i’m not ready to handle it. and i’m still not ready. but i am ready for fellowship with people who keep me hanging on.

hanging on is where i’m at. i can’t pull up yet, and i have no desire to do so.

i think love will be the first step. or at least that’s what i hear.