so yesterday, with a nervous stomach and an anxious feeling, i moved into my host home. they are a catholic family- an aunt who is a french teacher and her niece- Cynthia who is 12 and her nephew- Remy who is 10. another aunt lives in the house and i think is some sort of maid because she makes the meals and cleans and everything.
as soon as i got there my maman told me to go talk to the kids and i was thinking okay yeah- ill go meet them. turns out, i spent the entire night with them, using my terrible french- playing card games and trying so hard to understand them. luckily, they speak perfect french and are helping me learn and have become my private language tutors. i feel extremely stupid trying to talk to them and they often receive a blank stare.
so the toilet makes me really anxious. its basically a porcelain bowl which when you have finished your business- you must pour water from a bucket until your remains disappear. i have yet to go “number 2” because i am really anxious about it. although i have my own room, i share a bathroom with the rest of the members of the household. i can just imagine leaving little bits on the side of the bowl. oh yeah, did i mention there is no toilet paper but i ,ust take water in my hand and rinse myself? i am terrified of the day that i cannot manage some toilet paper or be successful at keeping it in. for now, i have gone bathroom bathroom at the baobab (study) center.
last night i ate dinner with the children only (and the maid?) and maman did not eat with us but i dont know why. perhaps tonight. honestly, she scares me. her french is hard to understand and she seems really frustrated with my poor french that has resulted from lack of practice speaking it.
tomorrow i may go to a protestant church as maman told me that there i one nearby and since the children go to mass at 6 am- yes am! they can show me where the protestant church is. however, i have NO idea what this church entails, ay ay ay.
today we broke into small groups and took a tour of downtown to familiarize ourselves with it. it was quite interesting but frustrating bc the girl who was my guide speaks very fast french and in my group i was definitely the slow one who didnt understand what she was saying.
however, inspired by one of the guys in my group who talked and was nice to all the vendors i started thinking about and wondering what may be a way to talk to the people who are usually shoved aside and spoken rudely to. granted, they are crazy and follow you everywhere, but i would like to find a way to talk to them and love them without being forced or nagged to buy something. i dont know, just something i was thinking about today as every minute i was bombarded by a new person au cause de ma peau blanche.
this is all for now because my hour has run out and i should return to my family. something that makes me nervous everytime because i am so anxious about my french.
thanks for all the comments on my last post.
oh. one last thing- there are all these senegalese values that they have that i really want to embody, i am worried they wont like me- especially my family.
Tahni:
Thank you again for the update, looks like you got us pictures this time – woo hoo. BTW, I think you are only 5 hours ahead of Texas, right?
Let me start my post today with YOUR “Word of the Day from Dad” (WotDfD – pronounced “Whatdiffed”)
“Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” — Isaiah 41:10 (NKJV)
Trust in the truth from Isaiah as you deal with the anxiety of your new country and your new “family”. You need not worry about your French as you will be quite fluent in a few weeks. Also, how blessed are you to have private language tutors that will NOT judge you? God put those particular kids there for you for such a time as this!
As for the bathroom, be thankful you have a toilet. Try not to think in terms of your American bathroom, but rather, be comfortable with the fact that everyone in the house has become accustom to using that toilet and likely never give any of your fears a single thought (oh, and remember your Mexico trip).
Lastly, it is interesting to read your post and notice that every concern that you expressed was followed by a calming wave that seemed to ease you a bit (i.e., language/kids, fast speaking guide/the nice guy in your group). Do not worry nor fret about your maman, she will soften with time.
Remember Rob’s encouragement in his post that God will not leave you nor forsake you – HOLD FAST TO THIS TRUTH. Brooke and I are very happy to hear from you and we look forward to more.
Nous vous aimons beaucoup, Papa
Hey Tahni! There is so much I want to say, but I understand the various issues you are having. But my prayer for you will be that you don’t let these thing paralyze you or fill you with fear. Acknowledge all of this to God and He will see you through it. I know He will, I have been there. We love you!!!
P.S. You don’t have to be perfect in French and you are just going to get more stressed out if you continue to compare yourself to the others in your group. This is a learning adventure.
i’m really excited to hear more!
you’ve inspired me to start one while i’m at doulos 🙂
ps. please check out matthew and lizi..
just google.. i know theyre on myspace.
you’ll love them.. so beautiful
and they have daughters named sunny and lyric!
Tahniiiiii great to read your blog. Your experiences are a window for everyone into a world unknown and you are writing beautifully.
The non-WC toilet is a bit funny; being from India that’s regular for us. Giving tips would be highly embarrassing and is hence avoided 😀
One way to get a bit of insight might be to talk a bit with the children of the house and/or their friends. I remember having fascinating views of the world as a child. Maybe you might get a new window to the world through them.
Tahni, when you start to worry about your French, I suggest you think about Anja. When she moved into my apartment she and I could barely communicate because, even though she had studied English in school, she had never really had the opportunity to practice with native speakers. But, you saw her by the time she left. She was basically fluent and rarely had to ask for help with finding the right words. That will be you, too. By the time you leave you will speak French effortlessly. Don’t stress.
I love you and I hope you are healthy and happy.