there is a place in the shadow of His wings that i have found peace. and it is only there that i find peace. i have begun on a journey that is a walk with truly greater intimacy with God. something that I have longed for for a long time and that was really sparked in me at the end of last semester.

Hosea 2:14-15 says: Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. And there I will give her vineyards and make the Vally of Achor (Achor means trouble) a door of hope. And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth, as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt.

i have surely felt Him bring me into the wilderness. the wilderness is dark and pervasive, trees with large branches obstructing the sun. noises that bring fright to my soul. fear that creeps in. every moment is felt because every moment is spent in a struggle, trying to remember and have faith in the words of the Lord while the words of the enemy also creep their way in in the darkness.

but it is in this wilderness that He speaks tenderly to me. it is those moments when i feel His presence as He lies next to me on the wilderness ground, joining me in the mud mixed with tears. He has told me of how He delighted in making me just as I am. He has led me in His way through words of His people and through images He places in my mind. He has given me His word in which He will continue to grow my faith. He has let me rest in the shadow of His wings, given me peace from the pain and the Holy Spirit helping me intercede for others and know what to pray for myself. He has given me music that speaks His message. one in particular last night that is really speaking to my heart:

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don’t turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I’m not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I’ll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don’t fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world’s sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I’ll never let you go

though the entire song speaks to my soul, the line that i am really holding on to is “why are you still searching as if I’m not enough” though two years ago i knew He was enough, i began to search again. i can’t explain everything or understand it all right now, but at some point, perhaps when things got difficult, i stopped believing that He was enough. but thanks to His severe mercy, i have once again been reminded that He is enough for me. for us. and it is only Him.

my prayer is that He continues to draw me in. that every day He comes by my side on the wilderness floor and meets with me. that He shows me more and more everyday that He is enough, and that we would all grow and rest in the fact that He fully satisfies.

as He says in His word, we are to seek first His kingdom and everything else will follow (Matt 6:33) and that we are to love the Lord our God above all else (Matt 22:37).

this Valley of Achor, which has been my home for two long years, will become a door of Hope. i have seen many lives that are desperate for the door of Hope and i thank God that He has not spared me from the pain and trouble that leads me into His Hope. I just want to testify that God is real, that He brings peace, and that He walks very intimately with us when we ask Him to.