the past few days have been a mixture of feelings and thoughts, as is always the case with me. my innate ability to focus on the negative continues to rear its ugly head. i have been enjoying myself for the most part but i usually let myself think on what is difficult or focus on what is hard. like speaking french, which i have not done much of the past few days since we traveled as a group to saint louis- my future home in about 4.5 weeks. i very much appreciate all the emails and comments and i wish i could respond to them all, but i am so incerdibly busy right now and this is the first chance i have had to breathe.

learning to hope continues to be a struggle for me. i just notice that everyone here seems to be more easy-going and enjoys themselves much better than i. if i could change something about myself, i think i would opt to be more optimistic. i want to enjoy my time WHILE im here, not just when i am 25 and reflecting on my life’s experiences thus far. the good news is that it is getting easier to communicate with maman, if only a little; and i am not as anxious about returning home.
last wednesday we experienced our first of many Sabar. sabar is the name given not only to a type of drum, but also a type of music, an event at which it is played and a type of dance. the dancing and drumming is absolutely incredible. i dont think i can describe it. but there is much coordinated yet flailing arm and leg movement to very difficult drum patterns. the place was packed with people and a group of professional sabar dancers, a famous sabar drum family, not to mentions many other dancers and then of course us tubaabs (white people). maman insisted that i wear a bou bou (see picture).
early the nextmorning i had to get up to go to the Baobab center to meet the group as we left for Saint Louis, which was absolutely beautiful. we were very pampered in our hotel, which was incredibly artsy, colorful, and vibrant. perfect for me.

upon arrival we ate and then went to a museum for a little background info on st louis followed by a tour of the city via horse drawn carriage around sunset time. the tour was fun but when we went through this residential part it was incredibly awkward because it was like a parade. everyone staring at us while the children waved and yelled tubaab tubaab! we went into this place where they smoke all the fish and i think it was the most disgusting thing i have ever been a part of. there must have been ten milliol flies swarming the fish and us while the smell of rotten fish pervaded our noses and coaxed us into nauseation.

later that night we traveled 15 miles inland to a small, non-powered village called Lampsar. have you ever been somewhere that just doesn’t have electricity, period? it was a weird feeling. nonetheless, we were welcomed and invited to join in on the festival which included more sabar and this time, the dances and dancers told stories about women, rituals, malaria, and circumcision. not only that but we were invited to dance Sabar which of course, none of us could. i was however congratulated for my dancing skills…who knew.we spent the next day at the beach, playing in the deathly undertow and basking in the sun. it definitely felt like i was on vacation. all of these events just made me more excited for san louis. also, that night we went to a reggae concert and i am definitely a new fan of reggae music, we danced the night away to groovin music and i even ran into a few of the people doing the volunteer program that i will join next month.

the following day was not so good for it signaled the end of my perfect health record. i woke up a little nauseated which continued throughout the day and carried over into today. i barely slept last night and even woke myself throzing up, which i then swallowed…sick, i know. i could barely concentrate at church because i felt so weak and returned home to sleep most of the day. i didnt get to go to the fabric market as i had planned but laura and hope brought me a sprite and i am feeling much better now. i just hope that i continue to get better because the stomach cramps come back periodically. i am about to start another hectic week and don’t know when i will be able to blog again. but i will try to keep what is going on updated. i am suffering a little homesickess as well as missing my family and my friends. but i have been learning that it is okay to be me and that i dont have to try and be like everyone else here. that is important and sometimes i get caught up in it.

before i go, i want to give a shout out to bayli- who is 18 today! congrats lil sis- you made it into adult hood, who could have guessed? 🙂