all things considered, summer has been wonderful.
i sleep in til about 10 every day. i spend almost every evening and weekend with friends or family. i’ve been reading for pleasure, watching movies, and keeping up with my favorite blogs.
spending so much time with people has kept me going strong when thoughts of the future seem bleak. i’m scared, i want to take some leaps, but i have to get over myself first. i’m still working on getting over the fact that i have a college degree and i’m not pursuing a full time job or grad school for the moment.
i want to stop second guessing myself when i go against the grain.
recent conversations have been inspiring for me. one of them having to do with goals, and one of them having to do with lifelong growth.
i had a job interview yesterday (which could have gone better) and i also had a conversation about goals with my room mates on monday evening. so i’ve been thinking about some of my goals and i thought i’d archive them so that i may reference them in the future.
1. become fluent in french, my heart language.
2. become intimate with my nikon, i think we could do a lot for each other.
3. support myself financially with my creativity and heart for beauty. (i realize this may take some time, but i want to do it– i just have to get my start.)
4. somehow incorporate my passion for culture, humanity, and missions into all of this. (i don’t know that i will ever live overseas, but it is so integral to my being, that i hope i get to somehow make it a real and vivid part of my life.)
5. trust Jesus in everything i am and everything i have. truly.
in another conversation during comm group taco tuesday(!) we were talking about our growth in life and as followers of Jesus. with a melancholic disposition, i tend to be completely down on myself any time i feel that i have done wrong or don’t get something or make the same failures as i have always done. it sometimes feels as if there is no victory over our faults or mistakes.
it can be confusing when we see our growth as humans (or Jesus followers) like this:
because it is never straight progress. we don’t learn something and automatically apply it, never to face it again.
instead, our growth is like this:
we may think that we have “backslid” or back-tracked or really failed this time. in truth, we are moving forward, despite our setback, whatever it may be.
i have my dear friend kelly to thank for the idea for this graph. i can’t remember where she got it, but it rang true for all of us when she drew it.
we are always moving forward, always being sanctified, always growing closer to Jesus although it may not always feel or seem that way.
i wanted to share these things to encourage you that life is not quick, sanctification is not easy, and the entire process is long and trying, filled with times we are stronger and times we are weaker. whatever the case, we are always growing.
anyone have any goals to share?
This is a great post. I like the graph because it's so true. I hate the term "back slid" becuase it often seems so wrapped up in the "emotional" part of churchy things. We are all sinners and we are going to continue to sin until God takes us home. It's not a freebie to be bad, but we have to just keep moving forward and not obsess over the past.
Goals? Hmmm. Be the best wife and mom that I can. Follow God and be open the chances He gives me to serve even when life gets busy. Let my family and friends know how much I love them more often. Get some scrapbooking done this summer 🙂
Love the photo of Miss N.
Wow, I'm just now reading this? I've gotten behind on blogging. That was a great conversation 🙂 Glad that you documented it!
The graph I drew is based off of Prochaska and DiClemente's model of change (1982). It was originally developed to model recovery from addictions, and later applied to other changes people make such as losing weight. I definitely think that it applies to the spiritual sanctification process (or "awesomeness" as you titled it!) that all children of God go through.
My goals? I'll go short-term, my goals for the next six months:
1. Become more content and grateful for the life that God has led me into now.
2. Become more humble, more repentant, and more ok with making mistakes and learning from them!
3. Turn to the Lord more than others when making decisions and become more confident and deliberate in the decisions that I make. Basically, be less freakin' indecisive!
4. Continue to develop a better relationship with my mom.
5. Graduate with my master's!
6. Define my role as a counselor better and understand how what I do in therapy facilitates change, and start doing that more effectively!
7. Choose a dissertation topic/area. Ugh.
8. Share my opinion more, especially in academic and professional settings.
9. Continue to develop friendships with folks in College Station, and focus more on loving and giving to them than what I think that I need from the relationship.
Wow, that was long!